|I don’t know how the heck you wound up here, but welcome to my page. If you’re stumped for what to do next, please consider the following:|
Stalk me. Watch me here on DeviantArt. Friend me on Facebook. Bonus points if your name is Candi or Coco. Flood me with salacious robotic messages - sell me something.
Find me on YouTube, mock my nasal voice and listen carefully for the crumbling sound of my fragile ego.
Browse my journal entries and vehemently disagree with everything I write. Remember, it helps to prove your point if you make a lot of personal attacks.
Realize that you’re about to read all of these and immediately slam your face into the nearest wall to prevent this from happening.
Contribute to the recommended reading list. Make sure nobody will ever doubt how truly refined and sophisticated your tastes are.
Decide you’re fed up with my shit. Unsubscribe from everything but my art. Wake up the next morning feverishly scrolling my status updates cradling a half-gallon of vanilla ice cream in your lap.
"I have, in the past, made important decisions about people I work with – agents and producers – based largely on how they treat wait staff in restaurants. I don’t care if you’re the most powerful cat in the room, I will judge you on how you treat the least powerful. So there."
- Tim Minchin