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Make Hard Friends

Journal Entry: Thu Dec 20, 2012, 7:07 AM


    Hard friends will help you to succeed; they won't let you slack off or distract you, and they may shame you for procrastinating or shine a light on your deepest fears. They're constantly trying to remind you that your dreams matter and how even a momentary lapse in concentration can quickly spiral out of hand.

    Hard friends won't humor your depression; they won't put up with compliment-seeking behavior, self-pity or narcissism. They don't care about your feelings because they don't want you to feel good, they'd rather watch you succeed.

   So, make hard friends, and then work hard not to disappoint them.

~ Wes


  • Mood: Daily Needs
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:iconxristos1991:
xristos1991 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I read this just when I needed it.
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:iconwestlylafleur:
WestlyLaFleur Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
I'm hope it helped, if so, I'm glad that it did.
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:iconsol-caninus:
Sol-Caninus Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2014   Traditional Artist
Amen. 
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:iconsauceyfellow:
SauceyFellow Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I wish I had the types of friends that would have kicked me in the ass growing up. I was an unpopular kid and got made fun of a lot so when somebody wanted to be my friend I held onto them for dear life. It wasn't until I got a spine and some confidence that I realized that I hung out with selfish assholes. I dropped all but four friends. The ones I still have are too nice though. My buddy Billy is one of the best people I've ever met. He's helpful, friendly and selfless but he won't give you a harsh criticism unless you point out the flaws first. My friend Spencer(soundcloud.com/datlaser      Check his music out if you like glitch or just dirty bass in general, I always link to his music when I mention him) moved too far away for my broke ass to visit often and I don't have his input anymore. My friend Behnji and I don't get to hang out enough for him to push me and my wife strokes my ego too much. Then there's my son, that lazy freeloader never pulls his weight. Lazy ass toddlers....I need somebody to motivate me and I need knocked down a peg every so often and all of my friends are just too nice for that.

Shit man, I miss Spencer. He wass like my muse. We fed off each other's creativity. If he were gay I'da been like, "Sorry honey! Can't marry you, I'ma go ride that dick over there!" I told her that joke once. Didn't go over well.
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:iconwestlylafleur:
WestlyLaFleur Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
If it helps, I really think you should work on fundamentals, like a lot more, like a couple of thousand hours more, before you talk about the amount of time you've invested in drawing the way you've been going on in these comments. I know what it's like, having a hard time finding criticism. I wish you luck.
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:iconsauceyfellow:
SauceyFellow Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I really have invested shitloads of time to drawing, I just haven't actually STUDIED anything until just recently. It's just been mindless drawing without any type of fucus until  just a little bit ago. I probably have a few thousand hours of drawing in my life but hasn't been constructive. I only started actually studying fundamentals this summer. I have an understanding of the fundamentals, I know HOW to do these things, I just don't have the practice in applying them yet. Specifically with painting. Been practicing at least an hour a day for a while but since I never colored anything at all until I was 21 I am working from the bottom.

My only real goal is to be somewhere that I can be proud of someday. No real rush. As long as I'm having fun that's fine enough for now.
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:iconwestlylafleur:
WestlyLaFleur Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
I doodled all throughout middle school and high school, 8+ years, and I know what it's like to reflect on that time and think to yourself, "wow, I did a lot of drawing back then", but I also had friends in high school who ACTUALLY DID draw A LOT, here's an example of something a friend of mine drew while he was still in high school: hgastudios.deviantart.com/art/…

Drawing, and I do mean DRAWING, is a direct investment = reward proposition, and I've had YEARS of observation to recognize how much investment equals how much reward. I trained myself up from square one, self-taught, so I've even got an added, retrospective layer of understanding. So how am I supposed to respond to your comment?

I'd like to be polite, but when I poke around in your gallery, I see MAYBE 800 hours of meandering practice, doodling throughout school, and far too much time spent worrying over how to paint digitally, color, or perfect your techniques when what you really should be doing is drawing, REALLY drawing. We're talking pencil moving, picture making, because clearly, you still have trouble making deliberate marks.

You claim to want harder friends, well, here's your opportunity. Rather than arguing with my expert assessment, you can trust me and buckle down - make that hour count. DRAW, don't worry about finished work, don't worry about painting or colors, because you're not there yet. Painting on top of a shaky understanding of forms with haphazard dexterity and mark making won't help you to improve nearly as well, and you'll be worried about things that don't matter, like "how do I paint light onto this object?" When the object isn't even properly set in space, or you're still have trouble drawing it's contours.

Good luck, seriously, but don't get defensive with me and don't make excuses.
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:iconsauceyfellow:
SauceyFellow Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I wasn't trying to sound whiny, bro. I wasn't offended or trying to argue with your point. I appreciate the honesty. I was just saying that while I've been drawing steadily since I was 6 I wasn't actually getting quality practice in. Rarely any observational work, no focus on improvement, no recognizing my weakness. Pointless bulk doodles. I've got a 20 pound stack of doodles from my last two years of highschool. Practice is nothing if not done right, though. Stick to only what's comfortable and you can't improve. I've been taking your advice to heart, seriously. I'm not mad or hurt that you told it to me straight. I've never had anybody with any actual level of skill or experience share criticism and it's pretty cool. 
I appreciate the replies, I wasn't commenting to get a response or advice. I've just got nobody who actually cares about this stuff nearby and typing replies to artsy subjects online fills a space in me that my friends and family don't. 
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:iconwestlylafleur:
WestlyLaFleur Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Well, I know what that's like. The DeviantArt community has been my home for more than six years now.  First thing, I want you to know is that I disagree - practice is practice, and it all counts, provided you're scribbling. I've got about five stacks of sketches sitting right next to me, each weighs probably six-or-so pounds, and they're all about the height of your average purchase of print paper. Now, I'm gonna be brutally honest with you and say that I absolutely refuse to believe that, unless you're using the heaviest grade of paper and barely drawing AT ALL on each piece, that you've got a 20lb stack of drawings from a two-year spread and you're still sitting at your current skill level.

The first step toward improving for you is going to be facing reality, go weigh that stack of paper, and toss out any papers that only have a single, small-to-medium size doodle on them beforehand. We're all entitled to a bit of hyperbole, provided it doesn't hurt us or hold us back, but I have a feeling that you're getting the better of yourself.

Once you're done with that. I'd say the goal should be to ACTUALLY produce 20lbs of PEN sketches, on regular size print paper, filling up each paper with a reasonable number of sketches. I recommend this pen, btw: www.amazon.com/Stainless-Retra…

Now, don't get me wrong. There's better practice, obviously, but we're all pretty vulnerable to self-deception, and before you can improve, you're going to have to get rid of excuses, such as "I REALLY HAVE PRACTICED A LOT, I just wasn't observing properly", because they'll slow you down to worse than a crawl, and they'll make the road ahead much more difficult. For instance, you might be focusing on the best way to practice, when instead you should be concentrated on drawing and focused on keeping the pen moving, or you might be tempted to ruminate on how "if only I'd known HOW to practice", or thinking "If this is where I'm at after 2,500 hours I must just be doing it wrong" which can lead to depression and frustration. The first step is to be totally, brutally, honest with yourself; chatting isn't drawing, sipping your coffee isn't drawing, erasing the same line thirty times in a row ISN'T DRAWING.

I've known too many artists, and seen too much work, and come too far. I'm too familiar with the sort of rut you're working through. I know that right now I probably seem like an asshole, but if you can bring yourself to really scrutinize your history with art and drawing in particular, and stay objective about it, that you'll find yourself having a very new and different appreciation for what's ahead and behind you with regards to your art.
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:iconsauceyfellow:
SauceyFellow Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Nah, you don't seem like an asshole. You are being constructive and honest. If you were just being a douche you'd just say to stop whining and leave it at that. I'm not over here sitting around feeling sorry for myself though, that's not the type of dude I am and that's not the impression I'd like to make. I don't let myself get caught up in my mistakes and keep myself from getting better. I look back and think, "Hot balls do I regret the choices I've made and I wish I had been smarter." but I'm not hung up on it. I may complain about how I'm not making enough progress but I'm still happy with what I can do. Would I brag about what I can do? Absolutely not, I'm not there yet. Am I happy with what fill my sketchbooks with? Yeah, it makes me feel good. I've never been one to think of myself as an artist either. That requires dedication and passion towards such a romanticized ideal. I just like making things. I want to get better to make better things is all. This is what I do for fun and relaxation.
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:iconburywhite:
burywhite Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2013  Student Artist
Great advice! Thanks
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:iconwestlylafleur:
WestlyLaFleur Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
You're welcome.
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:iconkayaksailor:
kayaksailor Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013
:iconthumbsupplz:
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:iconarchangel72367:
archangel72367 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Have you ever considered writing, I mean other than in journals... ;)

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:iconwestlylafleur:
WestlyLaFleur Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I've used to write poetry, and I've considered journalism, and thanks. I take it as a compliment that you would ask.
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:iconarchangel72367:
archangel72367 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Student Digital Artist
You are most welcome.  It was intended as such... :)
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:iconlittle-danny:
Little-Danny Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Very fine and true words! =)
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:iconwestlylafleur:
WestlyLaFleur Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks.
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:iconlittle-danny:
Little-Danny Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
You're welcome! ^w^
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:iconbyakko05:
byakko05 Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Professional Artist
:tears: :love:
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:iconadamentsnow:
AdamentSnow Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2013  Student General Artist
I believe I do need a hard friend instead being a hard friend for someone.

It hurt but is truth XD
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:iconwestlylafleur:
WestlyLaFleur Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Yeah, it's tricky to connect and establish lasting friendships with us hard folks, we're always on the move. I think it's best to find a whole group of us, so that nobody feels clingy or clung to.
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:iconadamentsnow:
AdamentSnow Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Student General Artist
Yeah it definitely going to very hard to find, is even harder for me due to language barrier.
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:iconsparklefairymangofsh:
SparkleFairyMangoFsh Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2013  Student General Artist
I have one:heart: He means so much to me, he's like my big brother, and I call him thus. ^^
He's really helped me through a lot, listening to the bare minimum if I need to talk, and always commenting just enough about how I could've done better, weather it be my art, school work, or even leveling up in an MMO. I love my big bro and I really look up to him so much. There are quite a few things I would've tried to give up on if not for him.
It's nice to have someone who can say "this sucks, make it better" and it actually feel helpful. I try to be the tough friend for my older sister, but it's not always easy;;

come to think of it, I've faved nearly every journal you've posted since I started watching you XD
so many good things to say, and well timed to boot
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:iconwestlylafleur:
WestlyLaFleur Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
You're very kind. Thank-you for reading. I hope he stays with you.
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:iconsparklefairymangofsh:
SparkleFairyMangoFsh Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you, I hope so too.
sorry about the long comment ^^;
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:iconwestlylafleur:
WestlyLaFleur Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
It's alright, I wish I had time to write long responses.
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:iconsparklefairymangofsh:
SparkleFairyMangoFsh Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Aw :C
let me guess, work?
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:iconwestlylafleur:
WestlyLaFleur Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Always.
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:iconsparklefairymangofsh:
SparkleFairyMangoFsh Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Student General Artist
aw;; :hug: I wish you the best with it ^^
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:iconkenm22:
kenm22 Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013
This needs to spread out
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:iconwestlylafleur:
WestlyLaFleur Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Couldn't agree more, but it's nice to hear it from someone other than the author.
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:iconkenm22:
kenm22 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013
i'll make sure to give the word out
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:iconinternet-cancer:
Internet-Cancer Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
the exact reason I de-watch anyone who posts a journal that begins with  "if you're a real friend, do [x]" or use the word "poser".
Reply
:icon3rdeye88:
3rdeye88 Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Fuckin A Wes. This is the exact reason anyone on this website hates me. Cause I can be a friendly affable guy, but when I become a true friend, I'm a hard friend. That and if you really do cross me, I can be a real asshole. Its even in my Twitter description. :lol: I'm so signal boosting this to a bunch of people and everywhere.

:hug: Thanks buddy. You rock. Wish we could be friends in person. I'll keep this in mind next time I see you pull some bullshit. :P
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:iconwestlylafleur:
WestlyLaFleur Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Hah. Thanks! I appreciate it, and yeah. Who knows? I'm supposed to be traveling around at some point. I'll keep you in mind.
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:icon3rdeye88:
3rdeye88 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Heh that'd be cool. Though you probably don't wanna come through Stockton CA, its a shit hole and besides I doubt you want me clinging to the hood of your car screaming TAKE ME WITH YOU SAVE MEEEEEEE! :lol:
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:iconwestlylafleur:
WestlyLaFleur Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
California has got to be better than Maine, dude. Honestly. ;p
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:icon3rdeye88:
3rdeye88 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
California maybe, but not Stockton CA. :no: Look up statistics for it. Basically, Crime, unemployment, and foreclosures on houses are high, the city has filed bankruptcy, and there isn't a whole heck of a lot to do around here. :P
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:iconporecomesis:
Porecomesis Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013
I wish I had hard friends.
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:iconwestlylafleur:
WestlyLaFleur Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
You may send me your best piece of work to critique once per month, I will give you my time.
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:iconporecomesis:
Porecomesis Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013
I just write fanfiction.
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:iconwestlylafleur:
WestlyLaFleur Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Did I stutter? ;p
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:iconinatsetsova:
inatsetsova Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013   Digital Artist
Interesting :) I'd like to find me some of these "hard" friends :D Most of mine either ignore my artwork or click 'like' and move on. I like your tips, short and sweet :heart:
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:iconwestlylafleur:
WestlyLaFleur Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Poignant.
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:iconinatsetsova:
inatsetsova Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013   Digital Artist
:) Thanks for taking the time to give me some feedback 
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:iconinatsetsova:
inatsetsova Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013   Digital Artist
That's weird, this is an old journal, and despite this it has just popped up in my mailbox :D I feel silly now 
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:iconhawkieface:
Hawkieface Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Don't worry, I had that too. It was probably just edited ^^
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:iconinatsetsova:
inatsetsova Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2013   Digital Artist
:D
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:iconj4b:
J4B Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
maybe it was edited?
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December 20, 2012
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